Dear Elle Macpherson

Look, I’m wearing your bra! I have to say, first, that it truly is a fabulous bra. Best breastfeeding one there is, as far as I’m concerned. Pricey, yes, but I’m still wearing the original one I had when I was pregnant with Keira. It’s being held together at the back with chicken wire and a quick prayer these days, but it’s still doing the job. You can’t say I’m not getting value for my money.

But.

(Come on, you knew I was building up to something)

It’s too lacy! I can’t wear any scoop neck t-shirts!

It’s not all your fault. My ample DD decolletage really does require all that extra fabric. You can’t hold up a landslide with a butterfly net, now can you? But it’s depressing – there is almost as much fabric in my bras as in my undies. And there are plenty of other ‘half cup’ looking maternity bras on the market I could try. And I have. But I don’t like them. Which brings us back to now.

I shouldn’t complain. I have no idea what old-fashioned maternity bras look like but I imagine they were completely utilitarian in design, starched, and only came in flesh toned colour. Even now, you can’t get them in many colours. Pink is about the most exotic. How about a brash tartan? Or loud Hawaiian print? Oh, that’s right, we’re lactating. We can’t be sexy too. Wouldn’t want to blind the kid before he gets properly ‘flashed’ with a nipple.

In sum: VLO (visible lace overflow) isn’t a pretty sight. But you can be sure I’ll be sorry come the day when I get to trade it in for my old underwires again. Because then my baby won’t be a baby anymore.

karen andrews

Karen Andrews is the creator of this website, one of the most established and well-respected parenting blogs in the country. She is also an author, award-winning writer, poet, editor and publisher at Miscellaneous Press. Her latest book is Trust the Process: 101 Tips on Writing and Creativity