Back in the day, back when my Technorati was very respectable, and I played the ‘blogging game’ a bit better than I have the time (or the inclination) to do so these days, I made my way onto several “TOP BLOGGER” lists.
Remarkably, miraculously, I remain on some of these lists and, in turn, have somehow found my way onto certain PR and marketing companies lists of:
“People we must barrage about any little thing which makes its way on the marketplace.”
These are primarily American companies, which annoys me slightly, because whenever I open an email it reads: “Hello {miscmum}! Aren’t we having a wonderful summer? Would you like to hear more about our new range of 100,000,000+ sunscreen? Self de-sanding flip-flops?”
And I feel like hitting the reply button and screaming, “Do you have any freaking idea that I live in the opposite hemisphere?! Do you do your research? You only need to look at my bloody blog title. Do you realise if I went outside wearing flip-flops at this time of year, I’d likely get frostbitten toes? Would you like that on your conscience? Wait – maybe I will wear them. Are you free for litigation? Say in about a week? Awesome.”
But I don’t reply. Perhaps I should, but I am that kind of harrumphing personality that doesn’t believe that that sort of stupidity needs reward or acknowledgement.
But then – oh, but then…
Perhaps a week later I occasionally get a follow up email: “Hey, {miscmum} I don’t suppose you’ve had a chance to read that email from last week referring to our super-protectant sunscreen or stupid flip-flops?”
What do I do then, oh wise ones out there in Internet land, who I’m sure fend off more of these pesky mosquitoes than I ever do? Do you reply with a ‘Thanks but no thanks?”
I want to add, at this point, that if you have a reviewing blog and this is the sort of thing that turns you on, then by all means, do your thing, POWER TO YOU!
It’s just that it’s not my kind of thing, and I think there is a vast difference between discussing something which you genuinely recommend and get use out of, to flogging someone’s latest brand of toothpaste just because they asked you nicely.
See, when it comes to writing actual reviews? Look, PR companies, I am a professional writer. I KNOW how much my time is worth and frankly, you can’t afford me. It’s that simple.
Not without a courteous, informed, polite introductory letter/email at least, that’s for damned sure.
Now, maybe, maybe, if there was a lovely carrot dangled on the end of a rope, then who knows, I might follow it. It would have to be CARATS though. Or in that ballpark.
But I ramble.
I shrug. I’m being feckless.
I’m tired.
I’m not sleeping well because I myself have a book I’m about to release into the general trade marketplace and I’m trying to think of ways to talk about it myself (oh, the
irony is rancid!
I can smell it, never you mind)
I say to myself, Talk it up. Talk it loud and proud.
It’s just that I’ve always felt there’s a fine line between selling and then ‘selling out’. I am afraid that come October I will be a robot on continuous loop: “Buy Surprise!” when all I want to do is watch children read it; enjoy it; take joy in these simple pleasures, rather than be out the back, continuously tapping numbers into my calculator: the necessary accountant.
It’s not a nice prospect.
But who knows? I may not have to. But at this point, I’m not holding my breath.
