I’ve kept most of the magazines I bought as a teenager. I’m not altogether sure why; perhaps I suspected I would use or require them sometime in the future, for purposes frivolous or otherwise. I’m very glad I did, for if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to introduce you to the obsession that was once mine: Jonathan Brandis.
Back in the mid-1990s he was pretty big stuff for a while, then slipped back into obscurity like many other stars whose shows get cancelled, and then later – tragically – he committed suicide.
This one edition was the perfect place to reveal my teenage self, as we all so often do, through the age-old means of: QUIZZES.
Ah, yes. What better way of seeing how I ticked back in 1994, when I was 15 years old?
For those of you who can’t be bothered squinting to see my questionable penmanship, here are the answers:
Best Male TV Star: Jonathan Brandis (ed: no surprise there)
Best Female TV Star: {BLANK} (What?! I couldn’t think of anyone?)
Best TV Show: Seinfeld (not bad, not bad)
Worst TV Show: Home and Away
Best Drama Series/Soap Opera: Models Inc (WHAT?! Would’ve only been due to Cameron Daddo)
Best Comedy Show: The Simpsons (Yep, still going strong)
Funniest Person on TV: Kramer (Seinfeld)
Best Music Show: Video Smash Hits (What about Rage, hmmm?)
Best Film: The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (I still love it)
Worst Film: Four Weddings and Funeral (For some reason it sat very badly with me. I like it better now)
Best Male Film Star: Val Kilmer (my obsession with Jonathan Brandis could only ever be eclipsed by the power of my love for Val. But that story can wait for another day)
Best Female Film Star: {Blank} (It’s quite obvious by now I was boy-crazy)
Best Male Pop Star: {Blank} (Now I look back I’d pick a half dozen singers I liked)
Best Female Pop Star: Madonna (Hasn’t changed)
Worst Pop Star: Mariah Carey (ditto)
Best Pop Group: Bon Jovi
Worst Pop Group: GF4 (or ‘Girlfriend’)
Best Single: ‘If I Only Knew’ Tom Jones (I did like it, I bought the cassette single)
Most Annoying Single: ‘Endless Love’ (Mariah Carey’s cover)
Best Album: ABBA Gold (YES!)
Best Concert: {BLANK} (I’d never been to one…)
Favourite Male Sports Star: Shane Warne
Favourite Female Sports Star: Zoe Goss (you couldn’t half tell I was raised in a cricketing household)
favourite video game: Wing Commander 3 (now I don’t even remember playing it)
Favourite Supermodel: {BLANK}
Event of the Year: River Phoenix’s death.
Most Promising Newcomer of 1994: Jonathan Brandis (SURPRISE, SURPRISE)
Worst Star of 1994: Melissa George Heather Locklear
Favourite TV Hits cover of 1994: THIS ONE!!! (Oh, please, it’s getting old now)
{I’ll skip some of the less important magazine-centric questions}
Who you’d like to see on the next cover: Keanu Reeves (Interesting. I must’ve only just seen Point Break)
Other Suggestions: MORE JONATHAN BRANDIS!! (MAKE IT STOP!)
And I shall. See, it was a poll. If I’d sent it in I might’ve won something. But no, I’m resurrecting it in 2009 to show you all and have a bit of a laugh.
