Thoughts

Being yourself – no matter how awkward – is less exhausting than ‘fitting in’

I ditched my shoes on Saturday. Partly because they were high heels and silly me forgot to pack flats, and partly because I never wear shoes in warm weather. I never did as a child either, and as a result the soles of my feet are a dream ‘before’ shot for a cracked heel commercial. And so rather than stumble around the hills all day on heels (and I tried for half an hour) I just took them off. I got weird looks and comments, but who cared? Not me. And when I took myself off to the beach for a wander during lunch I recognised a few other faces taking in the view, sitting by themselves, happy to be alone with their thoughts. It was peaceful.

Attitude is a powerful tool

I met some artists over the weekend who take themselves, and their work, seriously. Very seriously. A couple times I wanted to make a joke because I wanted to see them smile. I felt like saying, ‘Relax, guys. You know what, if you’re 25 and haven’t published your first novel yet and that’s the worst thing that’s going on in your life is that really so bad?’ I’m not being condescending – a lot of my twenties weren’t great either – and posturing can be a defence technique, but resilience and patience will get you through. And you will get through, I promise. I don’t like anyone feeling hopeless. Look to your friends for help – even ask me if you like.

Don’t be struck by the ‘incredible shrinking rays’ of jealousy

Damn, there are some talented people in the world. I finally got to meet a particular hero (Benjamin Law), but missed out on meeting another (Anna Krien). There have been occasions when I have been struck by that ‘green eye’ and it has affected me (see above point!) but now I’m better at channelling that into a positive motivator for action (“If so-and-so can, then why can’t I?”) Jealously is diminishing and tarnishes emotions and judgement.

Confession

I have a lot of work to do – and don’t feel like I’m doing it

Remember my New Year’s Resolutions for 2013? Here they are again.

How am I doing with that? Hmmm … good question. I am blogging less (have you noticed?!), so that’s one tick. Am I writing more? No. And that bothers me. I’m writing an essay now, though, and it’s in that exhaustive, preoccupying, fun-but-terrifying stage where the research is slowly coming together. The online/offline tug of war continues, and seems it always will, and so the search for balance also goes on.

Do you have any writing thoughts or confessions you’d like to share? I’d love to hear them x