It’s been a while since I’ve done a Q&A. They used to come along on occasion when I was tagged in a meme, but this time I used the Guardian Q&A questions they ask celebrities because I have no modesty, none whatsoever!
When were you happiest?
There have been countless happy occasions. I’d feel sad if I could only recall a single, pinnacle moment. Of course, that first orgasm was a bit of a revelation.
What is your greatest fear?
Dying before I’m ready to go.
What is your earliest memory?
Being driven around town late at night when I was a baby. It was the only way my parents knew how to get me to sleep. I even remember the location (River St, heading towards town, just after the cemetery).
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My nail-biting.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Close-mindedness and after that anyone who fails to recognise the glorious kitschy appeal of ABBA.
What is your most treasured possession?
It’s a tie: my mind and my health.
What would your super power be?
I’d be a time traveller.
What makes you unhappy?
The sick, insidious certainty that an anxiety attack is coming.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
As the years pass, I’m trying to make peace with what I perceive to be flaws or imperfections of appearance. That said, I wouldn’t say no to another 5-10cm of height.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
There’s lots of species to choose from, which is both sad and makes this job hard. Probably the Thylacine (Tasmanian Tiger). When I saw pictures as a child of those last few in captivity, most often chained up, I always felt sorry for their demise.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Gosh. I don’t know. That would imply I’m film-worthy and I’m not altogether sure that’s the case.
What is your favourite word?
There’s too many! I do have a favourite swear word though: Motherfucker. It’s terrific.
What would you wear to a fancy dress party?
A Venetian-style masquerade mask and Louis XIV-era gown.
Is it better to give or to receive?
Give. Nice things, of course. Giving bad stuff is just mean.
Which living person do you most despise?
I don’t hate anyone – although I sneer at CEOs who receive millions of dollars as golden handshakes or bonuses.
Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
A chef to cook it for me. Then I’ll worry about the guest list.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
It used to be ‘awesome’. My overuse of it bothered me so much I’ve really tried to cut it out. The best indicator of what phrase I overuse is to listen to what the children say because they copy me.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
To the fin de siècle, specifically between the years 1888 and 1900. 1812 as well.
How do you relax?
Take a bath, exercise, read, have a drink with friends. Ironing soothes me too.
What is the closest you’ve come to death?
Luckily, I don’t believe I’ve ever truly come close to death. If my anorexia/bulimia had continued, who knows? I don’t really want to think about it.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
So far? My children and marriage. Surprise! was a big accomplishment, though. I honestly think my greatest achievement(s) still lie ahead.
How would you like to be remembered?
As an all-round good person who could play a mean hand of cards.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
“It will all be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
Where would you most like to be right now?
On a plane that is just about to touch down in a luxurious holiday location.
Tell us a joke.
A guy walks into a bar. Bang!
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I’m supporting Movember this month. Here is my fundraiser page.
