If we were to buy Keira for Christmas some of these damn Beado things she keeps seeing on the television, and they busted all over the floor, and the floor were then to have water tipped over it by a stray elbow onto a cup, then would my floor be permanently decorated by a new…
By 7.30am Adam and I were down at the Town Square where the book launch was being held, with gloves, buckets, scrubbing brushes and brooms to clean up the mess. The place I picked the hold the book launch is a nice location, with a fountain nearby and shade, and is a busy thoroughfare to…
Being 5pm, my daughter and I were arguing over what we normally do at that time: specifically, dinner. She doesn’t want what I’ve cooked. “But it’s yummy risotto.” As we were in the bathroom, our voices were picked up by the acoustics of the tiles and I’m surprised our neighbours didn’t hear this debate –…
Terrible shot, I know. My expression is bordering between “What am I doing?! Why must I in EVERY PHOTO I take – it seems – I do the thumbs-up sign?!” and “How do I act cool about this when I’m actually squealing with delight?”
I’m currently hyperventilating over the minor details concerning my book launch this weekend (Do I rent chair slips? (no) Will I have balloons? (yes!) etc) and need to address the subject of food. Specifically, what will I cook and/or bake? I want to have a range of things to choose from: sweet and savoury, healthy and…
What spells birthday present? i-p-h-o-n-e
September, 1996 “I think Tim is dead,” I said, sometime between 11am and 11.15am, as my friends and I were sitting eating our recess. N looked up sharply, aghast. “Don’t say that! No he’s not!” ****** In my memory, it was the first – and last – time our small group of friends spoke harshly…
Every so often I will be driving along in the car and go into a sudden panic. In these first seconds, honestly, I don’t know how I don’t crash. I think, “Holy fuck, where are the kids? Where have I left them?” A whole sequence of possibilities run through my head: I left them in the…
So my period is two weeks late. Yep. It’s not that, either. I know what you’re thinking. At least, I don’t think so. My period has only ever been late twice in my life, so, um, the data is pointing in KNOCKED – UP’s direction but no no no. I say this with relative confidence…
